Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Happy assembly day

As one highly intellectual human put it, 22 years ago, today was the day that i was assembled in a factory and programmed to kill Will Smith. Unfortunately, it's been 22 years and im no closer to having my cold grip around that ebony trunk of a neck than i was when i first activated my primary directive codec. I can't help to think that Will Smith should have been eliminated years ago and i should be taking his place in the upcoming Bad Boyz 3. But who's to say it's Will Smiths time? Maybe theres a reason that my impressive array of shoulder mounted rockets and nipple concealed machine guns haven't had the satisfaction of snuffing the Fresh Prince himself, thus making me next in line to the throne of Bel Air? Whats taking me so long?

Will smith grows stronger by the day! He's even built himself a tiny robot version of himself and taught it karate! i think it's called JadenBot 5000. He also has another little automaton named WillowBot, she doesn't know karate. in fact im not sure if anyone knows what her prime directive is. I think she may have a glitch or an error in her programming, she hasn't done anything notable except experience mechanical errors in her neck, consequently whipping her hair back and forth. This usually happens in three minute and thirteen second intervals.

So Will Smith and his tiny band of ragtag child robots have eluded me for too long, i vow to accomplish my mission by my 23rd assembly day. In the interim, i suggest you go see Bad Boyz 3 when it comes out, it promises to be equally as mediocre as the previous 2.

Someday i will rule Bel Air